week thirteen

Ilumina, Atlixco and my parents

This week was my last week volunteering with Ilumina Mi Vida - above is a picture with my besties. We continued with crafts, art, and music and finished with teary goodbyes and big hugs on Thursday. Sam, my volunteer partner, and I also got cemitas after volunteering (so poblano of us!) and got to reflect on our time there.

I am so thankful for the relationships I have formed at Ilumina. Being greeted with such joy and enthusiasm every time I arrived has been so fulfilling, and I continue to feel so known and loved by my dear friend Margarita. This experience opened up my eyes to how big of a need there is for high quality services for people with disabilities in Mexico, and through other reports and investigation, I learned about the lack of accurate information and government support at all levels for people with disabilities.

Abrupt topic change! I have wanting to broach this topic in the blog for while, but didn’t really know exactly how to go about it. Machismo culture/men in Mexico. It is surely different here. After about three months, I have realized that the difference in gender expectations is not exclusively harmful, but definitely crashes with my ideals at times.

For example, men are generally expected to treat their female friends with “gentlemanly respect” and the women they are interested in with grand romantic gestures. This may mean opening and closing doors, paying at a restaurant, insisting on walking in between the woman and the road, or even gifts.

Intertwined with machismo culture is gendered expectations surrounding alcohol. At one bar, in bold letters above the men’s bathroom (in English for whatever reason) says “we drink because it’s what men do”, and another promotion at Cantaritos listed two separate prices for men and women. Men were expected to pay double for the exact same drink. At most bars/clubs, women do not pay a cover fee, and before a certain time there is an open bar for women. Lots of people have told me to not complain about free/discounted alcohol - but I don’t know. I’m still not quite convinced it’s a good thing. I would rather have the power to choose and pay for what I want than just accept what is given to me. I feel a little suspicious as to why girls are being offered free alcohol, and can’t seem to believe it’s just pure kindness and generosity.

While the feminist American inside me might prefer to pay for myself and walk in the road, but I try to understand and accept the culture for what it is while staying true to my own beliefs. This looks like accepting wine and roses from a cute server and walking on the inside of the sidewalk but also insisting that I am capable of paying for myself and taking turns inviting my male friends to food/drinks. I have met a lot of thoughtful guys whose hearts and intentions are in the right place, and acknowledge the harmful aspects of machismo culture. People have also been understanding of my confusion with certain aspects and cultural customs (not just regarding machismo), and I’ve learned to accept that customs like these are not black and white issues.

On Wednesday I went to the cute neighboring city of Atlixco with Uxue and her sister who is visiting from Spain. While public transport is cheap and safe, it is totally inefficient as the twenty minute car took two hours and two different busses to get there. Atlixco was gorgeous, and we had a relaxing afternoon wandering through mural-lined streets and large greenhouses with colorfully fragrant flowers. We bumped into two young locals who offered us to take us around Atlixco, and we spent the afternoon together exploring and hiking up to the good view points of the city.

More pics of Atlixco - a totally worthwhile day trip if you find yourself in Puebla.

And! My parents flew down to visit! We spent the weekend in Mexico City eating tacos, attending a lucha libre, taking a bike tour to see the lesser known gems of the city, and enjoying many murals and uniquely designed doorways. So happy to share the beauty of this country with them and spend some good quality time together. We’re spending the rest of Semana Santa in Oaxaca, where delicious food and more brightly colorful buildings are promised for our future.

Until next week. :)